I don’t know why I put this on facebook and not on my blog. I wrote this poem on November 27th 2010. This is my first poem in more than 10 years,I'm not much of a poet but my muse seemed to insist on it tonight. Under the circumstances of the new revolution, I sure hope it’s out of place
It’s a big ugly world
With big ugly words
And big ugly creatures
Roaming this earth
Big ugly men
With big ugly egos
They make big decisions
That come down to two zeroes
I usually like to write my own thing but I think there is nothing wrong with learning a couple of things from reading. I’m not a big reader of non-fiction, I’ve even listened to the audio version of this book, not exactly read it. But it is SO good that' I’ve listened to it twice, and I implore every project manager to READ it! Maybe it’ll change their mentality about life as much as it did to me. I also implore all you wannabe entrepreneurs to read it, maybe you’ll do more than me and actually achieve what you want in life 
The moment I got into college, I’ve learned that the types of people are not the ones I had always dealt with everyday. There were so many social classes and so many different ideologies about who is what. I spent the first couple of years being very picky about who I talk to and how I deal with people unfoundedly, which was of course a major mistake since everyone hated me and stereotyped me as a snob. That was probably true I guess. I spent the years that followed living life normally; no more snobs, and figured out how wrong I was about almost everyone I knew. But this is not what I am writing about, I think we’ve all gone through this (culture?) shock, and if you, dear reader, have not been to college and seen that yet, then trust me, someday you will!
I have just been to a session about philosophy, a sort of lecture, and the instructor has gone into the topics of analysis and synthesis. His idea was that analysis is not a good thing, and over-analysis is of the devil I guess (kidding :)). Even though I agree that analysis can be overwhelming at some point; the fact that you break down something into every tiny little spec of detail related to it remotely or otherwise, I do believe that proper analysis is a good thing, as long as we keep the bigger picture intact.
I've always been in that situation where certain people are expecting certain things from me, and other people are not expecting things from me directly but are expecting me to "go places" so to speak. This should be something I'm proud of, shouldn't it? I mean here I am, early 20's (not so early anymore but I refuse to feel older except when I need to) with my life ahead of me and the world at the tip of my finger just waiting to be grasped. And I'm wasting my life with ideas that never fall through and people that never stand up to responsibilities and here I am wanting so badly to do everything because I can do it better than how it is already done, or at least I got this complete idea that I can… which is of course wrong. But hell, I have potential!
I feel so utterly lost. I think that’s unexpected for the girl who has analyzed her personality into 7 different types of people. But I am lost in every way imaginable. All I can say is that I have had and still will have so many changes in my life in the past 3 months that should have been spread out across the entire year. But I don’t mind really. I’ve always liked and favored change. I think Spencer Johnson, the writer of who moved my cheese, is an inspired and inspiring person who really highlighted change at its very basic levels.
I won’t talk about who moved my cheese. I will however say that for me, I’ve always had milestones, or experiences, or epiphanies, something that causes my life to turn upside down and shakes me to the core, changing my perspective for so many different things in life. I even remember in college, I had one of those with a rate of once per semester at some point which I think played a huge part in shaping me now (imagine having a different personality every 6 months!).
I’ve always wondered what my purpose in life was. I mean we always feel like we’re meant for great things in life; the next napoleon or the next Virginia Woolf. The reality is we go to college filled with dreams of the future, graduate college having our big dreams filled with lots of hot air, get a bad job and keep thinking I’m gonna do this and that jump to the next best thing, or get a good job from the start. And then, you either feel you have made an achievement and that’s it, or you feel like you need to advance like a rocket.
I’ve been saying that I’m suffering from writer’s block for something close to 8 years now. That’s because I cannot write a decent story anymore! And that is because I used to be a helluva writer back in the old days. The old days of course are when I was in prep school, which means when I was between the ages of 11 and 14 (I’m stretching it a bit). That just sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I mean how can I say I was a better writer when I was a child than now when I am a full blow adult! Doesn’t make any sense whatsoever… except it does in a very silly kind of way.
Every couple of years I ask myself, who am I? it’s always an interesting question because I never get the same answer twice. I guess this is life where change is the only constant. The funny thing is I’m not really sure there is an answer. The last time I asked myself this question was a few months ago. It was a very confusing time for me, lots of things going on in my life; it happens! What I got was quite surprising but I guess it was the only time I got a really meaningful answer even though it only confused me more. What was surprising was the number of answers I got, all from myself. But the catch is that myself could only be defined as myselves!
