Before anything, this is not meant to drive sympathy or support or any of that, this is a personal observation of my own character. I don’t want any comments saying “Oh No, don’t say that about yourself” or “you don’t do xyz” simply because I live with myself more than anyone has lived with me, it’s a matter of self reflection.
If you don’t want to read this then don’t, if you don’t like it, it doesn’t matter. I say this with all the love and respect, but the purpose of this post is just to come to a certain truth with myself about myself, to be able to either fix the things I hate, live with them, or even learn to like them someday. I am not depressed or sad or anything, I’m just doing a long overdue spring cleaning of myself.
Without further ado, I hate:
- Lying
- Being moody
- Making my mom angry
- Getting angry in general
- Losing tolerance
- Trusting the wrong people
- NOT trust the right people
- Not being there for some people when they need me, sometimes because I don’t stand seeing them in pain, and sometimes because I am just not well enough to carry my friends’ and family’s burdens. In either case, I still hate it
- Falling for the wrong guy... over, and over, and over again…
- Quitting
- Being so unconfident sometimes
- Being blunt with words and hurting people; my words get 3D as one of my friends says
- Not always standing up for myself when it’s due
- Dodging blame
- Saying the stupidest things sometimes (not just being blunt, I mean really stupid things)
- Being such a coward
- Being arrogant
- Being materialistic
- Being selfish
- Being judgmental
- Not listening to my heart
- Not apologizing sometimes
- Not reading the signs
- When I get childish
- When I try to act all mature and end up feeling really sucky on the inside
- Pretending that I’m fine when I’m not
- Not being able to make a decision in all the important stuff
- Procrastinating
- Not doing what I dream about doing
- Letting other people put me down
- Not listening to my heart
All in all, this took me around 15 minutes to write, Q.E.D. as we used to say in math.
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