The Un-Bucket list

I feel so utterly lost. I think that’s unexpected for the girl who has analyzed her personality into 7 different types of people. But I am lost in every way imaginable. All I can say is that I have had and still will have so many changes in my life in the past 3 months that should have been spread out across the entire year. But I don’t mind really. I’ve always liked and favored change. I think Spencer Johnson, the writer of who moved my cheese, is an inspired and inspiring person who really highlighted change at its very basic levels.

I won’t talk about who moved my cheese. I will however say that for me, I’ve always had milestones, or experiences, or epiphanies, something that causes my life to turn upside down and shakes me to the core, changing my perspective for so many different things in life. I even remember in college, I had one of those with a rate of once per semester at some point which I think played a huge part in shaping me now (imagine having a different personality every 6 months!).

The Calling

I’ve always wondered what my purpose in life was. I mean we always feel like we’re meant for great things in life; the next napoleon or the next Virginia Woolf. The reality is we go to college filled with dreams of the future, graduate college having our big dreams filled with lots of hot air, get a bad job and keep thinking I’m gonna do this and that jump to the next best thing, or get a good job from the start. And then, you either feel you have made an achievement and that’s it, or you feel like you need to advance like a rocket.

Writer’s Block?

I’ve been saying that I’m suffering from writer’s block for something close to 8 years now. That’s because I cannot write a decent story anymore! And that is because I used to be a helluva writer back in the old days. The old days of course are when I was in prep school, which means when I was between the ages of 11 and 14 (I’m stretching it a bit). That just sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I mean how can I say I was a better writer when I was a child than now when I am a full blow adult! Doesn’t make any sense whatsoever… except it does in a very silly kind of way.

All by myselves!

Every couple of years I ask myself, who am I? it’s always an interesting question because I never get the same answer twice. I guess this is life where change is the only constant. The funny thing is I’m not really sure there is an answer. The last time I asked myself this question was a few months ago. It was a very confusing time for me, lots of things going on in my life; it happens! What I got was quite surprising but I guess it was the only time I got a really meaningful answer even though it only confused me more. What was surprising was the number of answers I got, all from myself. But the catch is that myself could only be defined as myselves!